And then on Monday I received a bill from them, a bill covering the period up to 11th October. But seeing as I’ve been a BT customer since 14th September I find that a little hard to swallow.  Even more so considering they promised me that if I started the moving process away from them before the 5th they would only charge me for calls made. And the only call I made was to BT (the very same day) and cost £1.50 to start setting up my new BT account. TalkTalk’s customer retention lady said I didn’t need to call them back when I’d decided which provider to go with as they’d take care of it.

But apparently I have one line and two active line rentals. That’s what I’ve just been told by someone from TalkTalk. They wanted to charge me £15.33 for our first month (less a couple of days) and then £19.10 for our first full months service with them. Those who have read my previous blog will know who told me the £19.10 figure, good old Luke. Turns out he was right after all and that the Welcome Pack was in fact the liar. And the woman from Customer Retention.

Thankfully they’ve waived the £19.10 charge seeing as how I was with BT for that period, but they still want the £15.33 despite me being told they wouldn’t charge it.

I will be taking this further.

I’ve been a customer with TalkTalk since moving into my first flat with my fiancé back in June 2009. The service you have provided has always been good, great value and I’ve never really had any problems of any kind.

Until now.

On 2^nd August 2011 I contacted you by telephone and spoke with a gentleman by the name of Luke. The purpose of this call was to advise that on the 6^th of August I was moving home. Luke was very friendly and helpful as he updated my account. Luke mentioned that the area I was moving to was not currently a TalkTalk enabled exchange, but that it was one of your targeted exchanges and they were giving customers here the benefit of cheaper TalkTalk prices.

Luke ran a few numbers and told me that my price plan would come to £19.10 in my new flat, slightly cheaper than the £19.74 I was previously paying. He went over what this price included, line rental, inclusive calls and internet.

He told me that the line would be activated on the 17^th August and that the internet would be live about 10 days later. He even said he’d send me a new wireless router with the welcome pack.

Needless to say I was very happy with the service Luke provided. Everything was done with speed and ease.

Then I got the welcome pack. No router was included in this, in fact it was just a simple leaflet outlining your services. Services I’d already been using for over two years. But, right at the back of the leaflet, was a breakdown of costs.

£12.50 line rental.

£21.50 extras.

£15 for broadband.

First off, I have no idea what extras is. But the main problem I saw was the fact my bill had gone from a promised £19.10 per month to a staggering £49.00 per month.

A point made more staggering when you consider that you can get line rental, inclusive calls, broadband and satellite television with a HD package with Sky for £48.50 a month.

So naturally I called your customer services as soon as I received this package, on 27^th August. First off, at this point we still had not had our internet service activated. The welcome pack stated it should be turned on around the 5^th September, some three weeks after our phone line being activated.

The nice lady I spoke to told me that Luke was wrong, that he should never have offered me that price and they would look into the matter, listen to the call (if they could find it) and possibly discipline Luke for his mis-advice. If it helps I now remember that the call was made at 13:36 on the 2^nd August from 023 xxxx xxxx. If you still have problems finding the call I can help, I called from work and so the call is recorded from my end.

I asked what TalkTalk were willing to do, would you honour the price that Luke had offered? I was told no. But that if I wanted to leave you would graciously waive the disconnection fee.

What incredible customer service. A customer for two years and you show no desire to retain my custom?

I work for a large financial services company and if I was to “do a Luke” and mis-advise one of our customers then, subject to an internal investigation, we have to honour whatever we tell our customer. It’s called Treating Customers Fairly. Something that TalkTalk obviously have no desire to do.

Eventually we set up a new account with BT offering the same services as we had with TalkTalk, but at a cost of over £10 a month more than TalkTalk. You see I wanted to remain with yourselves but you have priced me out of continuing with you and in the process have cost me over £180 over the course of my new 18 month contract with BT.

To make matters worse BT tell me that TalkTalk cannot physically offer broadband services in our area. I now believe that rather than tell me you couldn’t offer me a service and see me go to a competitor you were actually looking to take significantly more money from me and hope that I didn’t notice I had no internet.

Then things got even more hilarious as my post this week contained a leaflet from TalkTalk. Apparently I can get phone calls and internet for just £3.25 a month for the first three months. And I could save £199 versus BT’s 18 month contract.

Either this is false advertising or I’ve been lied to by BT and by your customer retention team. Which, if either, do you think is correct? I’d love to hear from you on this matter as I feel I have been forced to leave a service I was happy with.

Up until last month I would have gladly recommended TalkTalk to anyone. But this whole situation has left me incredibly disappointed in your service and I will now be warning friends and family to steer clear of TalkTalk.

Even now I’m getting even more agitated as I try to complain by email, being forced to use an online form rather than just giving out an email address. It’s making me chose a category for my “question”, none of which is “make a complaint”.

I look forward to a prompt response,

Alan Galpin

 A couple of years ago I came up with an idea. I thought it was clever and funny, but I never really did anything about it at the time. More recently I’ve been writing scripts for a comic version of my story and one novelised version. And  I’ve been doing some rough character sketches for the comic version. I figured that if I didn’t start doing something about it, someone else would pop up and steel my proverbial thunder.

The story I came up with centres on a young boy, a boy that seemingly has nothing. He has no parents, no friends, no real personal belongings. He lives with an elderly relative who really doesn’t know how to look after a child and so the boys days aren’t exactly the best of times.

But the boy had something going for him. He had spirit, he had guts. And he had the uncanny ability to spot where things had gone wrong. The boy spent his days watching documentaries about the emergency services and news channels about the latest disasters to strike the city. Then he would spend his nights running across rooftops and down streets, chasing police cars, ambulances and fire trucks. He would study the emergency services and their tactics for handling all major incidents, learning how best to deal with bank robberies, car crashes and apartment fires.

My story started with the boy witnessing a fire in an apartment block, a fire that kills a family the fire service sadly cannot save. After the fire is eventually put out the boy gets to talk to the fire chief, pointing out what they missed and coming up with a plan that would have actually saved the family.

Hindsight Boy was born.

I figured that with a bit of work I could have a half decent story on my hands, something a little different. But today I received a text that put paid to my idea.

“There’s a new character in South Park called Captain Hindsight!”

Oh, balls.

It gets better.

“Yea, apparently he turns up at a fire in an apartment block and tells everyone of the safety protocols they should have observed. He then leaves 6 people to burn.”

Oh, double balls.

If only I’d copyrighted my idea.

Hindsight, eh?

Oh the irony.

Copyright © 1995-2010 Comedy Partners. All rights Reserved.

Star Wars fan films have been around for a while, there are tonnes of them. There are the serious ones that expand on the Star Wars universe and the funny ones that bring the Star Wars universe into the real world. There are the ones that use established characters and the ones that created brand new ones.

We thought ourselves to be in a great position to try this for ourselves. A group of students who were mostly studying Radio, Television, Multimedia Journalism or Performing Arts. We had the skills, or at least we were learning the skills, that would really help us make our film a reality.

Now, sadly, the film never actually became a reality. We were far too ambitious and far too busy with our studies. Or maybe just a bit lazy. But we had fun anyway and managed to do quite a few interesting things, learning new skills in the process.

Two of us worked out how to make lightsabers on screen and created a few test clips, which sadly seem to have been lost. I also created a few photos with the effect, of which one or two remain on my computer. I think you’ll agree I look cool with a lightsaber, even if I am inexplicably wearing a flatcap!

We also got hold of some 3D rendering software and downloaded some models of spacecraft and planets from the internet, using them to create some basic animations. We also used this software, along with Adobe After Effects, to create the intro sequence, teaser trailer and end credits, which have also sadly been lost.

Myself, as a radio student, used our sound editing software to put together all the sound effects and music we were going to need. I took sound clips from the Star Wars PC games and I used all the old Star Wars soundtracks along with the soundtrack which was specifically written for the story we were doing.

All this techy playing was fun, but was getting us nowhere in regards to the actual film. So we set about the more important tasks of casting, costumes and script.

We found a screenplay online, based on Shadows of the Empire, a multi-media project when it was released in 1996 as a book, N64 game, CD, comics, toys and trading cards. It is set between Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi and tells the story of Luke and co chasing Boba Fett to try and rescue Han Solo.

We got permission to use the screenplay from the guy that spent so much time turning it into a screenplay, then started to edit it down. We had to get it shorter and make it easier to make. I’m fairly sure I still have the script somewhere…

5a – Shadows of the Empire

We approached local, and not so local, costume shops and managed to do a deal or two. They agreed to lend us costumes during their quieter periods (ie not near Halloween) in return for their names being plastered all over the credits and website. Then the best news, one of the crews brother had a Darth Vader costume we could borrow… which was nice.

There was an interview with one of our producers aired on local radio in order to stir up some interest and hopefully help with the remains of our casting. We noticed an increase in hits to our website (the long since closed www.shadowsoftheempire.co.uk) but sadly no offers to join the film.

After several months of planning and testing, the project was dead. Maybe one day I’ll be involved in another project like this, if you know of one that needs an extra hand, feel free to contact me. If all this fan film malarkey is new to you then check out www.theforce.net/fanfilms for some of the best homemade Star Wars fan films in existence.

It started three weekends ago when some lovely soul smashed in my drivers side window. They didn’t steal anything, which is somewhat of a consolation, in fact they didn’t even open the door. Just smashed a window and dented the door in the process.

So, our Saturday was spent on the phone to the police to report the incident and to the insurance company to sort out a new window. I call Aviva to make the claim, get transferred direct to Auto Windscreens for them to take the details. So far so normal. They say they’ll pass my details to one of their operatives who will call me to arrange a time for the repairs.

Kat and I took some photos of the damage and then set about cleaning up the broken glass, enough so that I could drive the car down the road and park by our flat so I could keep an eye on it. After an hour or so, around mid-afternoon, they called back and said they didn’t have anyone in the area who could do the work until Sunday night. And by night I mean 2am. Queue a string of questions from me; Riiiight, what am I supposed to do until then? Leave the car outside with no window? Will you cover me if my car now gets stolen because they can get in through the non-window?

They offered to let me put my car in their warehouse where it could stay until the work was done. I just had to wait until someone would be at the warehouse to go down and meet them. Sods law meant that the guy phoned to let me know he was there just as dinner was coming out of the oven.

So Monday morning rolls around and I’d not had a message about the car, so I take the bus to work. Tuesday morning, still not heard anything. Another bus trip to work. I chased them up on Tuesday, the guy on the phone said “it looks like the work has been done, according to the computer”. Brilliant, was someone planning on telling me? He offered to call the warehouse and arrange a call from them so I could sort out a time to pick up the car.

Wednesday rolls around and a third bus trip to work. They’ve had my car four nights now, all for one little window. Finally they call during the afternoon, the car’s ready. They’ll be there until 5.30. I’m at work til 5. And my bus doesn’t come until 5.25. The manager agrees to wait until 6, but chances are that’s still not enough time for me to get there. In the end Kat has to get a taxi from work to their warehouse to pay the £75 excess and pick up the keys. Then she has to wait for me to get there because she’s not passed her test yet.

Finally we had our car back. Still covered in glass shards and dust, mind. So the weekend before last we took the car to be properly cleaned, a full valet. Now the car is as clean as it has ever been. So much so Kat has now realised it’s a silver car, not a grey one.

So, after £75 insurance excess, £30 valet and £15 bus fare we’re back on the road.

Until this past Monday.

Slight rattle in the car grew worse over the weekend so I mentioned it to the garage, where it was already booked in for an MOT. The fact that I dropped it into them, rather than the previously arranged pick-up that they offered, meant I was late for work. But at least it was a one off. At least that’s what I thought.

I get a call in the afternoon saying the rattle was nothing important, something came loose and they sorted it out, no repairs needed. They told me they were going to go ahead with the MOT and if there was any problems they’d call me, otherwise I could pick the car up later.

Sadly I didn’t get to the garage before they closed at 5.30, but planned to pick it up on Tuesday morning. But when I get there in the morning I get an odd look from the guy in reception. “Did Rich not call you?” Er, no he didn’t. Turns out the car failed the MOT, a very minor fault in the wiring to the light on the number plate! “Do you want us to sort that out for you today?”

So after another walk to the bus stop and another hot bus journey I’m late again, even more so this time. And I still don’t have my car. Fortunately they called in the afternoon to say it’s all sorted and ready to pick up. Unfortunately I miss my bus and don’t get to the garage in time, so it’s another morning walk to the garage for me.

This morning I get there to find no-one in reception. I stick my head round the door into the workshop to try and get someone’s attention but no luck. Finally I decide to phone them in order to draw someone into reception. Once someone eventually manages to notice me I pay for the MOT and half an hours labour for sorting the problems. Half an hour? Is that how long it took? They have my car for two days and it only took half an hour?

All the faffing means I’m late for work again. But at least I’ve got my car back, again, and it’s all running perfectly (touch wood). I’m just hoping that after all this there’s no more costs… oh wait, what’s that? Car tax due next week? Brilliant…

Anyway, the topic of today’s blog post is my phone. The Sony Ericsson Satio.

I’ve had my Satio since November. When I first upgraded to it I was very excited. A smart phone with a 12.1 megapixel camera? I thought it was going to be the dogs b*”*cks so didn’t mind the 24 month contract that I had to agree to in order to get it.

But the longer I’ve had the phone the more I’ve become annoyed with it. Part of it is to do with Vodafone I have to admit. The Vodafone App store just plain didn’t work for the first 3 or 4 months that I had the phone. When I finally got onto it I was appalled at the stupendously awful apps that were available, and how few of them there were. The apps available through Sony Ericsson’s own PlayNow service are a great deal better, although a lot more expensive too. Spotify is free to download, but can only be used if you’re a premium member. WisePilot is decent free GPS software, but you have to pay a subscription for that one.

Not long after having the phone I received a text from Vodafone to tell me that there was a software update available for it and I needed to log onto the SE website to update. So I did. And I can’t. Because I have a Mac. Turns out the update has to be via SE’s own software, which is only for PC. More recently they have released an add-on for iSync to help Mac users, but as of yet my phone seems to be unsupported by this.

The camera is very good, but the odd 4:3 aspect ratio on the 12 mp mode stops me taking the kind of pictures that I actually want to. Drop down to 10mp and the ratio is better, drop to 9mp and you are able to take photos that fit the 16:9 screen. The other thing that’s bugged me is just how easy it is to switch to camera mode. One slight accidental touch of the button as you hold the phone will turn on the camera and lose whatever it was you were actually doing.

Media playback is decent, but there seems to be an intermittent problem with playing music. Now and then a song will skip and then catch up by playing at the wrong speed, which sounds awful! Even if the handset is laying flat and not being jogged I still get this problem.

Sending an SMS is also a pain in the derriere on this phone. The touch screen is so annoying, sometimes overly sensitive and sometimes it has the reactions of a stick. The handwriting mode never fully understands you and is so slow it’s not worth it. The mini keyboard is far too small and forces you into using the little pen that comes with the phone, making you look like a knob in the process.

I find all of these things even more annoying when I think that I could have waited another 6 weeks and got myself an iPhone.

So, after months of frustration and with another 16 months until my next renewal, I decided to see if there’s any way to make my experience better. I’ve been looking online at other people’s experiences and ideas. And I notice a lot of people are “hacking” their Satio’s.

Finding out how to do this was very simple, one Google search gave me all the information I needed. The process itself sounds effortless. The results mean being able to install any free Symbian apps on the phone.

Free apps like the Ovi Store app can be installed, allowing access to actually good apps, which would be a nice change. Having browsed the Ovi store online and the Apple app store on our iPod touch, the difference between the two of them and the Vodafone and Sony Ericsson offerings is remarkable.

Ovi Maps, the free map service from Nokia, could also work on my phone. That would be great if it weren’t for the naff GPS signal on my Satio, which thinks my location is always about 2 miles away from where I actually am.

Opera web browser is also available. Making mobile browsing so much easier, quicker and generally more fun (alledgedly) than the default browser. And there’s a bunch of twitter clients like TweetS60 that don’t rely on a wifi connection (like my current one). Messaging services like Fring, MSN, Skype and more that allow easy ways to chat online. And games by the bucket load. All being given away for free, legally. On other app stores.

So, not bad for the first weekend of looking. If the Satio had apps like this available then maybe I could turn my opinion of the Satio around somewhat. But, currently, the only way I could get these legally free apps is by hacking my phone. The question is, is it worth it?

This past weekend I was talking to someone who mentioned the game and it got me thinking about it again, got me remembering how much I enjoy playing. So I dug out my Football Manager 2009 CD, barely played, and re-installed it onto the Mac. I downloaded the latest patch and set about trying to find an up to date player database to install.

While looking, unsuccessfully, I stumbled across somebody’s idea. That idea coming about because, after a while, everyone knows which players to buy. Everyone knows who the big teams are, who the best players are, who the best coaches are etc. But what if you didn’t?  What do you get when you start up a game of FM2009 and put yourself on holiday for 20 years? What would the footballing world look like in June 2028?

I thought it was an interesting idea, so I set about starting a new game and left the computer to chug away for about 36 hours until 20 years of game time had passed. There were a fair few noteworthy results.

In 2024 England were runners-up to Spain in the European Championships. But after 60 years of hurt the 3 Lions of England won the World Cup in 2026. And the man that made it happen? Paul Jewell.

England are ranked 3^rd in the World, behind Brazil and Spain. Turkey and Nigeria are up into 5^th and 6^th respectively while Scotland are in 11^th, above Germany who have slipped to 18^th and Portugal (who won the 2010 World Cup) have slipped down to 37^th.

Manchester United have just won the Championship and with it a return to the Premier League. A feat they also achieved 2 years ago, having been relegated again in between.

United have struggled since the retirement of Alex Ferguson in 2011, just after winning one more Premier League title. Jose Mourinho lasted just a year. Pep Guardiola, Carlos Queiroz, Steve Bruce, Slaven Bilic and David Moyes have all tried, and failed, to return glory to Old Trafford. Former Charlton boss Phil Parkinson and former Cambridge Utd manager Martin Ling where the two men that relegated the Red Devils. Former Darlington boss Mark Cooper is now the man in charge.

Meanwhile, on the blue side of Manchester, City have just won their 3rd Successive Premier League Title. They have also just won the League Cup, Community Shield, World Club Championship and the Champions League four times in the past 5 years. All under the watchful eye of boss Laurent Blanc.

Millwall have just been relegated from League 2 while Ebbsfleet weren’t far away from the playoffs in the same league. Billericay’s amazing rise up the Football League has just come to a halt as they’ve been relegated from League 1 while Fulham are sliding down with a relegation to League 1.

The managerial picture is also interesting as lots of players have moved into management. There’s Pierluigi Casiraghi at Arsenal, Christoph Metzelder at Aston Villa. Nyron Nosworthy is manager of the Premier League side, Swansea. Steven Gerrard and John Terry have moved into management with Sunderland and Nottingham Forest respectively.

Steve Coppell took over from Rafa Benitez at Anfield in 2014, winning the Premier League in 2016 and 2020. Coppell left after the second league win. Now Stuart Pearce is the man in charge, while also STILL being England U-21 manager.

Southampton won the Championship in 2025, the year after being FA Cup runners-up. They also came 2nd in the Championship in 2015, 2021 & 2023. They have become somewhat of a “yo-yo” team with several promotions and relegations over the past decade.

Markus Leibherr never took over at St Mary’s, instead another consortium ousted Rupert Lowe in August 2008. Paul Sturrock returned for a spell as manager in 2016 but was sacked 8 months later.

Portsmouth have been managed by Glenn Hoddle, David Platt, Gianluca Vialli and Chris Coleman, amongst others. Somehow they are still in the Premier League and never entered administration.

So an interesting football landscape, I think you’ll agree.

If you have Football Manager 2009 and want to play in this brave new world for yourself, head to www.fm-base.co.uk and download my save game.

So, what have I been up to in the 4 months since my last post?

This past weekend has been running around, speaking to insurance company and the police after some lovely soul decided to smash in my drivers side window on my car. Didn’t steal anything, didn’t even open the door after, just smashed in the window. How charming.

I’ve also spent time considering a return to education recently, with a view to doing a degree in Graphic Design. It’s an area I have a lot of interest in but I have no artistic background, no GCSE or A-Level art, just a keen amateur interest. I love creating pieces of art in Photoshop, creating logos or banners for peoples websites. I’d love to do more of the same in a more in depth way and hopefully end up with a job where I can make use of my skills.

So I’ve enquired about a HNC course at a local college that should start the ball rolling. It’s only one day a week and, hopefully, work will let me switch hours to have that day off and work longer hours the other days. That way I can continue to work full-time and keep earning while learning. And then, should I get onto the course and do well, it may mean a return to Uni to do a full on degree.

It’s all early stage stuff at the moment but I’m kind of excited about the possibility. Even the news reports this morning about graduates struggling to find work has not dampened my spirit.

So, for todays short but sweet catch-up post I leave you with some examples of my amateur graphic work. And I promise not to leave it so long til my next post!

The show opened with a shot of all the NXT Rookies. From Jennifer Hudson’s fiancé to the black guy with ridiculous hair that looks like John Cena. As they stand there The Miz enters and looks them all up and down, stopping longer on Daniel Bryan. Miz pulls Bryan out of the line and introduces him as an “Internet Darling”. He actually openly admits that the guy has had a long and successful career internationally before arriving in the WWE. Something that I don’t think the WWE have ever done, from personal memory anyway.

Miz asks Bryan if he’s ready, Bryan says he is. Miz challenges Bryan to go to the ring and introduce himself, wanting him to show charisma. He says Bryan can even go to the ring to The Miz’s music. Bryan jokes that this may be hard for him. I’m already liking the pairing of these two, which I never thought I would.

So, Bryan gets to the ring and introduces himself. He even goes so far to apologise to his fans for being “stuck” with The Miz, stating he’d rather have been teamed with William Regal. Great, I’m loving this, get the pro/rookie pairing hating each other, this could be fun. Miz comes out to insult Bryan who retorts with jokes about Miz being on the Real World and having a Fohawk. Miz says he needs a catchphrase. Miz rolls out his own incredibly deep “I’m Awesome” catchphrase and about 50 fans join in. Bryan jokes about how crap that catchphrase is and comes up with his own “when you wrestle me, you either tap or you snap.” Miz looks pissed and ends up slapping Bryan before leaving.

For the first ever NXT segment I think it was… to use some idiots simple catchphrase… awesome. Instantly made me a Daniel Bryan mark.

Ok, so the show set up… Matt Striker is your host/interviewer and Michael Cole is on commentary with Josh Matthews. Surprised to see Cole on there to be honest and had all but forgotten Matthews existed.

After the first break Striker is interviewing Bryan. Bryan says he slaps harder than The Miz. Striker plays down his indy career saying it means nothing in the WWE, but praises Bryan’s confidence. Josh Matthews is playing up his indy roots while Cole is talking them down. It sounds like they’re making Cole a heel announcer?

And then they drop the bomb. Main event? Daniel Bryan versus… The World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho!! Holy mother of god… I’ve wanted to see this match for ages! I think this whole first part of the show makes things clear that they’re planning to push Bryan.

Match 1:
Ok, finally a match. Michael Tarver & Carlito against Heath Slater & Christian.

Christian Slater (see what they did there?) get the win after Christian pins Tarver. Tarver was poor in this match while Slater was mildly better. I won’t go into full match details, but don’t expect Tarver to be the one making it to the full roster any time soon.

Match 2:
Darren Young (with the Straight Edge Society) vs. David Otunga (with R-Truth)

R-Truth on the mic for the entrance… What’s up? What’s up? Crap and pointless match, that’s what’s up. Seriously, this one lasted all of 25 seconds. Young is a party boy that’s been paired with Mr Straight Edge, which is odd in itself, plus his hair is ridiculous and he looks like a black John Cena. Otunga is going to marry Jennifer Hudson, he goes to Hollywood parties, he’s been to the Whitehouse twice this year, he studied law at Harvard, but he can’t deliver a proper spinebuster for toffee.

Match 3: MAIN EVENT
Daniel Bryan (with The Miz) vs. Chris Jericho (with Wade Barrett)

Jericho refuses to be introduced by the ring announcer and wants Barrett to do it. Barrett tries to suck up to Jericho, in his Manc accent, but Jericho wants a plain intro. The match itself was good. Bryan shows good skills (bar some poor punching) and takes a big bump when a dive through the ropes to the outside is turned into a kind of powerslam into the announce table by Jericho. Not sure if that was deliberate or if Jericho got scared and tried to get out of the way. He’s either a genius or a chicken. Bryan almost makes Jericho tap, but Jericho ends up winning with Walls of Jericho THE LION TAMER!!! Not seen it performed like that (with the proper neck crank) in ages! That was vintage Jericho!

Miz enters the ring to beat down on Bryan after the match. Cole talks trash about Bryan, cementing his role as a heel announcer. But it still sounds like the same old whiny Michael Cole to me. Lawler is the only WWE announcer that can do the heel role well.

Next week: Matt Hardy & Justin Gabriel

Ok, so the show’s over.

I thought NXT was supposed to be a reality show. I almost didn’t watch it because of that. Let’s make things clear now… this is NOT a reality show. What it is… is one of the most entertaining WWE shows I’ve seen in a long time.

Anyway, where should I start…? How about a description lifted from Wikipedia:

Fantasy Wrestling

Fantasy wrestling is an umbrella term representing the genre of role-playing and statistics-based games which are set in a Fantasy Wrestling company. Several variants of Fantasy Wrestling exist: segregated by the way they are transmitted (through websites, message boards, e-mail, postal mail, or face-to-face), the method in which the storyline is determined (via roleplay, “angles”, strategy- or statistics-based systems, etc.) and how the roster was composed (characters created by the players).

Granted that makes it sound dull, but it’s not. Not if it’s done correctly, anyway.

The basic idea is that you create your own wrestling character, work out their own backstory, create their friends and family, decide on their personality, create a list of moves they use and chose their strengths and weaknesses. You apply to join an e-federation (e-fed) and if they accept you they will give you a match on their next show.

Then you write roleplays (rp’s). These can take various formats from interviews, in-ring segments, backstage skits or more intricate stories away from wrestling. They generally have to be related to the match that you have, so talking about your opponent etc. But it also gives you the opportunity to work on your own story and develop your character.

These rp’s are then graded, different e-feds do this in different ways. For example sometimes the boss grades everything themselves, other times there is a group of graders. In the e-fed that I have previously competed in they encourage everyone to grade everyone else and send their votes to the boss in secret.

Then the grades are added up, or averaged, and the person with the highest score will win the match. Matches are generally written up by set people and presented along with all the other matches in a TV style write-up.

Some e-feds welcome ideas for the matches themselves, ie tell them what moves you want your character to try or tell them how they would react to certain situations. They sometimes allow you to write your own matches, or at least contribute parts to them. This all allows for further development of your character.

Other e-feds do not use a graded rp approach, instead deciding results based on how it would best further the storyline that the two handlers (people writing for the characters) have created. These are called Angle-based e-feds and encourage people to work with each other in creating their own feuds and storylines.

If you’re a decent enough writer, creative enough and make the effort to create a good story you will be rewarded with title shots, a chance to become the champion of that particular e-fed. Some e-feds are linked and have inter-fed shows and matches.

The one I participated in is called the Millennium Wrestling Alliance (MWA). I have had several characters there over the years, achieving quite a bit of success. My main character, Tim Worthington, is now a Hall of Fame inductee with two World Championships to his name. Another character, Veronique, started a story that didn’t reach its conclusion for seven years! There really is a great deal of fun that can be had with this past-time. It’s great for wasting time, for meeting new people with similar interests, for honing your creative writing skills and for having great fun!

If this sounds like something you’d be interested in, take a look at some of the following websites:

• http://mwa-online.net – the Millennium Wrestling Alliance  (I’m “Peoples Choice” on the forums there)
• http://roughkut.com – A listing of e-fed with ratings.
• http://ewzine.com – A Resource site for e-fedders, more e-fed reviews etc.